Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces

Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
September 28th, 2018
https://babylonbee.com/news/senate-to-be-replaced-with-room-full-of-monkeys-throwing-feces/

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an emergency, overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones. 3.97% voted that Senate members be replaced by screaming goats. “About 100 people” voted for the current Senators to keep their jobs, with this tiny voting bloc centered in Washington, D.C.

Highland Ape Rescue out of West Virginia will be teaming up with Cornwell Primate farms to supply hundreds of monkeys and apes to the Senate. The animals will be fed a nutritious mixture of foods that produce easily throwable feces. Protective glass will be put up around the Senate for camera crews to safely film, but anyone being interviewed by the new senators will have to sit in the middle of the poo-flinging octagon, coming under a heavy barrage of projectile excrement.

“It will be a huge improvement from how things were before,” said ape trainer, Marlena Henwick. “No more 10-12 hour hearings. With these monkeys, all the fecal projectiles will have been flung in under 30 minutes. One and done.”

The recently replaced senators will be placed on display at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. for families to park attendees to observe and zoologists to study.

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Alex Jones © Sean P. Anderson / Flickr
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Alex Jones suspended from Twitter after tweet calling to end censorship
Published time: 15 Aug, 2018 05:50
Edited time: 15 Aug, 2018 12:25
https://on.rt.com/9cee
Alex Jones suspended from Twitter after tweet calling to end censorship
InfoWars host Alex Jones

Controversial right-wing commentator Alex Jones has been banned from tweeting after he posted a link to a video of himself calling on President Trump to “take action” against tech companies censoring his content.

Infowars Editor Paul Joseph Watson tweeted a screenshot of the notification sent by Twitter staff to Jones. According to Twitter, a tweet by Jones one day earlier was considered to be “targeted harassment,” and, as a result, the Infowars host would have his access to the social-media platform restricted for one week. Watson described the situation as “truly, monumentally, beyond stupid.”

Alex Jones has been suspended by Twitter for 7 days for a video talking about social media censorship. Truly, monumentally, beyond stupid. 😄

On the same day that the Infowars website was brought down by a cyber attack.

Will this madness ever end? pic.twitter.com/hXDzH2b7rT
— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) August 14, 2018

In the video, Jones ranted about the censorship of conservative voices by Silicon Valley tech companies, directing much of his scorn at Apple CEO Tim Cook. He called his own ban from various tech platforms a “total anti-American attack,” and called on President Trump to “do something about it.” Along the way, he bashed Democrats, criticized the mainstream media, and accused Cook of working with the Chinese government to undermine America.

Jones’ Twitter page will remain visible for the duration of the ban, but he will not be able to tweet, retweet, follow, or like.

READ MORE: Who’ll host Alex Jones? Porn sites enter the infowars

Last week, Infowars found itself banned from the platforms of almost every major Silicon Valley company – including Facebook, YouTube, Apple, and Spotify – for violating their community standards and spreading ‘hate speech.’

Until Tuesday, Twitter was one of Jones’ last safe havens online, and CEO Jack Dorsey said that Jones would not be banned until he broke the site’s rules.

Jones’ excommunication was cheered by many in the US, including Senator Chris Murphy (D-Connecticut), who called Infowars “the tip of a giant iceberg of hate and lies.” He demanded even more censorship in the name of ‘saving democracy.’

Infowars is the tip of a giant iceberg of hate and lies that uses sites like Facebook and YouTube to tear our nation apart. These companies must do more than take down one website. The survival of our democracy depends on it.
— Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) August 6, 2018

Jones’ supporters blasted the companies for censoring the rabble-rousing host, and former UKIP leader Nigel Farage called him a “victim of collusion by the big-tech giants.”

Whether you like @RealAlexJones and Infowars or not, he is undeniably the victim today of collusion by the big tech giants. What price free speech? https://t.co/DWroGYaWvk
— Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) August 6, 2018

While effectively banned from much of the internet, Jones still posted content to the Infowars website, and via the Infowars app, which has surged in popularity amid the furore. However, on Tuesday, the Infowars website went offline in what staff called a cyberattack. Upon landing on the site, visitors would simply find an error message, which was later replaced with a low-fi splash page directing them to several other affiliated sites.

They can refer to Alex Jones anyway they want to, Freedom of Speech, but censorship is censorship, are we gonna take it? I say Hell No! Facebook and Twitter can go bobbing for whatever they want, but censorship is censorship, and if we allow them to censor us, they will effectively destroy our First Amendment Rights, and move on the Second Amendment Rights and so forth.

China taking over and censoring the internet? And nobody did shit when Obama let the internet slip away from American control. Pussies!

Artificial Intelligence – The Judge, Jury, Lawyer, Journalist, and Executioner

Sent to me by futuret as a comment to “According to Russia, if Clinton Elected, Will Be Last US President” on my Manifest Injustice blog:

https://freedomfightertimes.com/end-times/science/beast-tech/4th/artificial-intelligence-the-judge-jury-lawyer-journalist-and-executioner/

Artificial Intelligence – The Judge, Jury, Lawyer, Journalist, and Executioner

By Nate – 10/24/2016

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If you go to their site, you can view a video on it.  I could not copy the video section across.

In the days ahead imagine a world in which your crimes were judged not by your fellow peers, but rather by an artificial intelligence. A team of scientists in the UK have developed an AI which can successfully predict the verdicts of Human Rights cases with an accuracy of 79 percent.

The ‘computer judge’ was developed by The University College London and the University of Sheffield. The scientists developed an algorithm which can not only weigh up evidence but can also make moral considerations.
Are you ready for the Terminator Judge?

Artificial Intelligence, no matter how smart, has no morals. What all began in the 1960’s as a prediction that computers could one day be able to predict the outcomes of judicial decisions, has just come about.

AI is increasingly being used in fields such as journalism, law, and accountancy.

However, according to the team of scientists;

“We don’t see AI replacing judges or lawyers, but we think they’d find it useful for rapidly identifying patterns in cases that lead to certain outcomes,” said Dr Nikolaos Aletras, who led the study at UCL Computer Science.

“It could also be a valuable tool for highlighting which cases are most likely to be violations of the European Convention on Human Rights.”

Interestingly enough, this is how it starts. First, the AI weighs in, then the AI becomes a member of the Judicial process, and finally the AI replaces the AI process.

Realistically this is step one.

In the not-so-distant future, artificial intelligence will replace lawyers, journalists, judges, policemen, law and order, and so many more common jobs. The most critical positions that will determine mankind’s fate are that of the legal sector, and as of this report – it begins.

Scientists claim that the Artificial Intelligence was taught morals. However, morals cannot be found in brain tissue but rather in the spirit. The conviction that comes from wrongdoing is not found in mankind, but it is located in the conviction that comes from the Holy Spirit, lest we forget the days and stories of the Israelites departure from Egypt.

Artificial Intelligence is coming about through the rise in evolutionist ideology, and the belief that man is just another animal. In the not so distant future; a central intelligence, no not the CIA, but rather the Central Artificial Intelligence will be the judge jury and executioner. The artificial intelligence will make assumptions and calculations based on thought crimes, and based on tendencies.
How so?

By the year 2023, according to the World Economic Forum, the first ever implantable mobile device will be sold to consumers. At this point an individual will be able to control a device by thought, and at this moment an individual’s thought will ping a server rather than an action inputted into a smartphone. The implantable mobile device can and will give rise to the analyzation of an individual’s thoughts.

To develop the algorithm, the team allowed the algorithm to scan the published judgments from 584 cases relating to torture and degrading treatment, fair trials and privacy. The computer learned that certain phrases, facts, or circumstances occurred more frequently when there was a violation of the human rights act. After analyzing hundreds of cases, the computer was able to predict a verdict with 79 percent accuracy.

Creating an algorithm which judges upon particular facts, phrases and circumstances will give rise to the Artificial Judge, Jury, and Executioner. Thus, creating an artificial judge which bases its decision upon thoughts rather than actual crimes.

“Previous studies have predicted outcomes based on the nature of the crime, or the policy position of each judge, so this is the first time judgments have been predicted using analysis of text prepared by the court,” said co-author, Dr. Vasileios Lampos, UCL Computer Science.

“We expect this sort of tool would improve efficiencies of high level, in demand courts, but to become a reality, we need to test it against more articles and the case data submitted to the tribunal.

“Ideally, we’d test and refine our algorithm using the applications made to the court rather than the published judgments, but without access to that data, we rely on the court-published summaries of these submissions.

To conclude, the allowance of such a judge in real-time, in an actual court would require the doing away of the entirety, and legitimacy of the legal system. Thus giving rise to the beast system which could deem Christianity as dangerous, certain phrases and thoughts as conviction, and certain circumstances as grounds for execution.

Works Cited

Jane Wakefield. “AI predicts outcome of human rights cases.” BBC. . (2016): . . http://bbc.in/2eBuned

Sarah Knapton. “Artifically intelligent ‘judge’ developed which can predict court verdicts with 79 per cent accuracy.” The Telegraph . . (2016): . . http://bit.ly/2dCPyco